You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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