Duck Duck Cougar?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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