i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
