Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
