i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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