Do you still have your period?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
