What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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