like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
