I love black thongs
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
