Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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