I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
