I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
