Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
