we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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