I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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