4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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