I don't think brook has ever known best
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
