Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
