It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
