Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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