It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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