I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
