you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm bleeding and have questions
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
