Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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