i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
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