he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
