youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
