I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
