I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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