His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Alive.
So much puke
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
