What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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