I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We just shotgunned beers for America
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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