Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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