Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
