Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
