the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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