my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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