yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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