my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
