So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
