I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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