I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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