And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Green mimosas i think yes
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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