I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Someone shattered a urinal.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
