between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
