Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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