I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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