HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
