PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
