Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he puts the penis in happiness.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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